7 January 2013

I know this much is true

I was reading on twitter at the end of last year Anna from Skin and Blister (she is inspiring me a lot lately as you can probably tell) writing about finding a word for the year and I've been struggling to come up with something.

And here is my word now:

gen·u·ine 
Adjective
  1. Truly what something is said to be; authentic: "genuine leather".
  2. (of a person, emotion, or action) Sincere.
Synonyms  
true - real - authentic - sincere - honest - veritable

I kept the synonyms in this post as most of them have been in the running for being the word for me and I'm still toying with honest to a degree.

Here is the thing.  Last year I think I felt a bit off for a lot of the year and I think it is because I was not being very true to myself.  Not the genuine article, not the me I am in my head.

I listened to new music a lot less than normal, I drank a lot more than normal, I ate a lot more than normal, I hid, I lied to myself, I punished myself.

I spent a year trying to fit this round peg into a square hole of what I thought I needed to be, or what other people might expect of me and it led to me feeling trapped and stuck and lost all at once.  There were shining days when I did not feel like that (notably our wedding) but so much of the time was me being who I thought I needed to be.

The longer the year went on the further I moved from the image I have of myself in my head.  The person I want to be.  The person I know I already have all the bits in me to become.  That is who I want to be this year.  It means no more excuses to myself but being honest, genuine and true.

It also means that even though I've not picked true as a word I'm going to have True by Spandau Ballet stuck in my head all year.  That and this:


I think its going to be a good year.

10 comments:

  1. I really like the idea of choosing a word to define the year. Something that you can stay true to. Sort of like a guiding principle or even an abrupt mission statement. But, it is a difficult task. I've been trying to think of a word for me, and it is a struggle. Still haven't narrowed it down to one word yet.

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    1. It took me ages to narrow it to this range but I feel quite inspired by it already!

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  2. I am proud of you for writing this. Be you. YOU are all kinds of awesome. Siobhan substitutes will not be accepted.

    Your year is going to be GREAT.

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  3. Happy New Year Siobhan- it's going to be just grand Xx

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  4. This is great writing Siobhan. I felt the same a couple of years ago and it was one of the reasons I started my blog to just write what I wanted and not worry about other people, I was far more anonymous when I first started Skin and Blister for that reason but now it's brought me out my shell a lot.

    After I had George I lost my way a little bit about who I was and what I was supposed to be doing. You will get there, just keep that word in mind. I really hope it helps you this year. I know that my word last year kept showing up all over the place, even the months where I wasn't really looking for it.

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    Replies
    1. I like the idea that the word will stay with me even when I'm not focussed on it. I think that is the power of a word? Thank you so much for your comment! x

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  5. Awesome choice of words.

    Hope 2013 is all you want it to be and more. :)

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  6. Awesome choice of WORD, I mean. Accidental pluralization!

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